They say we experience true love only 3 times in our lives. They also say each one impacts us differently.
Our first real love, the one we met at a young age, usually in high-school, is the ideal one, one that seems like it was out of a fairy tale. But it is one that was narrated by society, sort of a social norm that this is the right age for us to feel love. We go into it believing it will be our only one regardless whether it feels right or not. We tend to mold our personality to make it work. Deep down inside we believe this is what love is about. But it only seems like it’s right, where in reality the way it is perceived is more important to us than how we actually feel.
Our second love is supposed to be the hardest one, the one that teaches us who we are and how long we need it for. It is the most painful one due to lies and manipulations. We tend to think we make different choices from our first one, where in reality we still make the same mistakes thinking maybe this time it's going to be different and this teaches us the lessons we need. It's not always healthy or balanced. There will be lots of drama, but that's what keeps us hooked, we ride the emotional roller coaster of highs and lows, much like drug addicts, who suffers through the lows only to be enjoying the occasional high. We really want to make it work; we pray it's the right one. The questions is, is it worth it?
Our third love is the one we don't expect. It seems like a mistake at first, and it changes what we think love is. It comes easy, yet seems unreal. The connection is unexplainable yet so spontaneous. It is of the kind that "just feels right", there are no expectations of how the other person should be and no pressure for us to be something we are not. We just accept ourselves fully. It's not how we imagined it to be, and it didn't happen according to any narrative, but that's why they say there are no rules in love and war. Not all of us experienced this kind of love, probably because we are not ready for it yet. Maybe life is about figuring what love is not before knowing what it is. Each time we think we have it all figured out, while some people marry their high-school sweetheart and makes us doubt if we really know what love is. Yet all these doubts are what makes us try again and again, never knowing when the real one will show up.